she might lose her inheritance) for her family was was exremely wealthy and politically powerful and that she was afraid that he " might have a "heart attack" were her exact words, for marrying a poor boy like me and she said that "love is what was important and that marriage was just a piece of paper" and I did ask her to marry me of which the Lord saw the intention of my heart and let be slide on the issue for some months, after being Born Again, until after much prayer the Lord gave me a vision of the words "Fornication" traveled through my mind's eye like a stock market ticker tape in lights and streaming across my mental vision and I knew then that I needed to move into the second bedroom of our home and I asked her that if ever approached her for sex to say "No" until she was Born Again also with the new birth in Christ and with a lot of mixed feelings and blessings remembering tha year of 1968, started off chaotic and ended up being glorious and I never wanted to leave it and I met the woman of my dreams and experienced the New Birth and a whole new family, "The family of God" with brothers and sisters all over the world, of which eventually, I met and fellowshipped and ministered to and with and stayed with my brothers and sisters in Christ on my future, missionary journeys as an International Missonary Evangelist and had proved to myself what the Bible teaches as we being one Great Big Family of God in Christ, wherever I went or traveled and ministered and was blessed by many brothers and sisters and finally going back to the original jist of this chapter in my life and my testimony of salvation and what led me to the New birth for letters from my mother kept coming to me while I was living in a commune in San Anselmo in Marin County California. For my mother who had just been miraculously healed and blessed as as described the privious chapter of this developing blogger and book and here I was, in beginning of 1968 and struggling to free myself from all temptations and addictions and especially taking anything stronger then Mexican Brown Marijuana, of which was much weaker in potency in those days then the cultivated Marijuana buds of today in 2023 and it took two or three joints to get highfrom depression being pain-free and eventually. After falling back into taken LSD on and off for a week in the commune that I was living in as the Alpha Dog so to speak and I came to the end of my self righteousness and inability to improve myself mentally, morally and ethnically and then I gave up the last Idol in my life Marijuanna, by putting it on the alter and asking God only for something better in exchange, of which was Marijuana at the time and I began to wander in my mind, of what is the truth and what is the purpose and the meaning of life and over the next few years after leaving the Catholic Church at the age of thirteen and feeling like I was hiding from God and was always in fear of Him. For it seems that no matter how hard I tried to do right, that I fell back into doing wrong as the Apostle Paul clearly taught about the dilemma in the New Testament, about the difference between the law and grace and between freedom and bondage and between wanting to do right in my heart and mind and but not having the ability, strength or power to find for example, spiritual wholeness and perfection in this life and the power to overcome all negative thoughts and temptations and so I begin receiving letters from my mother as aforementioned in prvious chapter again and telling me how she was healed of rheumatoid arthritis and her periodic alcoholism and lost weekends and as before mentioned, my parents also owned at one time the Happy Hour Bar on Ventura Boulevard in the Encino and Tarzana area of West Valley Los Angeles in the suburbs in the blue suburban skies as not yet as polluted with smog as the rest of Los Angeles was and the happy and sunny place to live in "The Valley" and yet after living in Marin County a couple of years and the moving back to Los Angeles with my parents and then running away at seventeen and hitchhiking back to Marin County and eventually joined a commune of four girls the same age, with a best friend and partied day and night and although the end of the summer of love had happened and we were all still partying at the ended and partying eventually got old and boring and it was time to grow up and I thought in my heart and mind that if I just started going to church with my girlfriends starting with my first girlfriend, after arriving back to Marin County, named Sally of Mill Valley and we talked about going to church together but never did and then my second girlfriend Linda and sister of a famous rock star and I talked about going to church and never did and then my third girlfriend Becky and I the same thing and never did go to church and but with the letters coming from my mother about her miraculous healing, of which I first thought she'd lost her mind, for all she talked about was Jesus, Jesus, Jesus and my first impression was my poor mother has finally lost her mind and it had snapped and I was comforted with the thought that at least she went happy and not mad and but the letters kept coming and inviting me to come and see and qitness these Miracle Services, that Katheryn Khulmen had at The Shrine Auditorium in downtown Los Angeles on the third sundays of every month in October and because I had already been healed and delivered from a meth addiction a year are so earlier,, at a Foursquare Pentecostal Church prayer meeting, adjacent to the main church sanctuary of the Angelus Temple of which was founded by Ammie Semple McPherson decades ago, along with her godly mother and so I was more inclined to go to this miracle service after realizing that this wasn't a passing fad with my mother and that she really was apparently in her right mind at the time and delivered from alcoholism as, I was delivered from methamphetamine the year prior, at the prayer gathering that my mother had taking me to in 1967 and so I decided to take up my mother's invitation to go to this so-called miraculous and healing service, that was happening in Los Angeles and Becky and I stuck our thumbs out and hitchhiked together to Los Angeles to my parents house in Tarzana and from there we went to the Shrine Auditorium from which aforementioned in chapter four where the Academy Awards were given at the time also, for prior to this time particular time I had hitchhiked to Los Angeles and for my younger brother Alex who had just robbed a guest of a roommate of mine, that I was living and staying with in San Anselmo and the person that he had robbed was a biker and he taken a sword and all his drugs and jewelry and whatever he could grab. For he had an Heroin habit at the time and I was still using methamphetamine and after my friend and roommate, was almost bashed to death, so to speak by this biker who pulled off a huge leg from a large wooden dining room table and threatened to beat him violently with it and had him cowering on the floor of the kitchen with his hands only his head and I was so upset, at my brother that I wanted to get vengeance with him, for inviting him into our nnderground style commune behind and under a veterinary Clinic, next to the Corte Madera Creek, in San Anselmo and a very secluded place to be an even, with a resident upstairs who would bang on the floor too quiet us partying and lowering the music down and we lived relatively happy and I was grateful to have a place to live, after running away from home with only the clothes on my back and a jacket and no wallet no credit cards and no ID or even driver's license in my possession at the time, if I recall and so I was totally penniless and jobless, for I had just been fired from my gas station attendance job at the old Hamilton Air Force Base, for stealing a quart of oil and pocketing the money and so here I was in a state of mind and of rage, fueled by any drug that we could grind up in a spoon and inject into my veins and we had a clever ways of doing it, by carrying around permanent Hospital needles with various numbers on them and we sharpen them on fingernail files, for instance and cooked our methamphetamine in spoons and put a ball of cotton in the spoon to strain out the particles, in order to inject the methamphetamine and any other drug we could grind up and cook in a spoon and we used eye droppers as syringes and when the drug stores realized what we and other low life's were doing (Meth users were the scum of the earth then and now its gone main stream), then they had the glass eye droppers bent at the tip and they still worked for us as syringes in this relatively small community of methamphetamine users in Marin County and Northern California of which was where people did mostly, what we called uppers in the drug world such as benzedrine and dexidrine as well as Methamphetamine.
hereas in Southern California, people were more inclined to use heroin and barbiturates and the tranquilizers, what were called in general Downers and I suppose because of the sweltering heat and the summertime and people just wanted to pass out and relax a d not move around as in Northern California, where it was cooler and crisper like in Marin County, on the north side of the Golden Gate Bridge and people wanted to be outdoors and active and methamphetamine was one way of being alert and active especially if one was homeless or semi homeless and just to keep going, when one had no place to lay their heads, like Jesus who implied that he was homeless also and had no place to lay his head and so hitchhiking to Los Angeles to catch up with my brother to get dome of thd loot and in the dead of the night, after going to the local drug store to buy a Dristan nose inhaler and breaking it open and swallowing the cotton inside, with the Coca-Cola. For its methamphetamine effects and to keep me awake and it made your skin stink of the oder that they put in it to discouaring ingestion. I then hitchhiked Into the night and got a ride that eventually dropped md off and found myself walking along Highway 101somewhere near Soledad California, where there was and still is an Infamous prison of which my younger brother eventually ended up in and called a Gladiator School and as I was walking along in the night, with only a light coat I got a ride to Monterey California and in the night went down to the beach and fell asleep and had a horrible and fitful plus cold night and hallucinating in my mind of creatures coming out of the ocean and or being attacked and dragging me into the sea and a stuck a knife into the sand next to me and after a cold and fitful night. I woke to an incredibly beautiful sight, for in the dark I could not see where I had gone to sleep and I woke up on this beautiful white sand beach and in front of me was a chapel and I saw a Catholic priest in a robe walking past the chapel and was obviously checking to see if I was dead or alive on the beach and again, I got up on that clear and sunny blue sky and white sand beach and made my way to Highway 1 again and started hitchhiking south to Los Angeles and I remember for instance, seeing a long-haired hippie looking type drive by me in his four wheel Jeep wagon and I thought where is the love and or where is the Summer of Love and brotherhood and it was over and here I was a hichhicking and a person that looked like aHippie brother, just passes me by, along with the regular traffic and then I got a another short ride and I was dropped off on the remote coast of Big Sur, in Monterey County in a wilderness area and it was so beautiful and clear and sunny and I was shaking off the morning chill and hunger after I was sleeping on the beach and I was able in this perfect stillness and quietness, while waiting for another ride South I was able to stop and marvel at the beauty and the ocean below me, front the cliff side road and looking at the turquoise blue waters and the dramatic mountains and forest, on the other side of the road and while standing there and and absorbing all that beauty of the moment in time and the peace and waiting in this moment and tranquility and beauty and peace, when all of a sudden a large and luxurious brand new Oldsmobile came down a side road on to Highway and stopped in front of me and the midaged looking gentleman said to me, "how far are you going" and I "said Los Angeles" and he said get in for that's where I'm going also and I got into his luxurious and new car and he was so very kind and friendly and ask nothing of me and began to tell me about his love for Jesus and also about how his wife who had recently passed away and that he had owned an aluminum Factory and was now retired and sold it and all he could talk about was his love of God and Christ and I have never felt so much love radiating from someone in my life, and for the first time in my life, I felt the love of Jesus coming from a human being other than from my saintly mother and but this time it was the strongest that I had ever felt and the love of God and Jesus through this man, began drawing me to the Lord From Love and for the first time, not through the fear of God for fear is the opposite of love and I've been afraid of God all my life and being raised in the Catholic Church fear was a major factor in the religion as I experienced and I remember once a drugged out looking biker type was standing in the back of a Catholic Church service in Reseda California where I also lived with my parents prior and a Catholic priest in the back asked him at first to play at least sit down in a few and I was sitting in a few wearing my Indian Hindu type sandals and out of the corner of my I saw this Catholic pretty straight arm this poor soul who was obviously looking for some type of redemption, to sit down or else for he was just standing in the back of the church wondering and trying to absorb what was happening in this perfectly straight and well-dressed Catholic community and church and I believe it was called Our Lady of Grace on Sherman Way the main cross street in San Fernando Valley and I was so turned off her eyeless in the service that same day seeking and looking for Redemption and I could not find it and so that was the last straw for me going to the Catholic Church to find answers and Redemption from my confused condition in life and as this kind loving and fatherly gentlemen spoke about missing his beloved wife and how gracious and good God was to him and feeling the radiant love coming from him and unconditional love at that for the first person to pick me a picture hiking after I ran away from home and the fall of 1967 from Los Angeles and back to where I used to live briefly and Marin County was a young handsome and well-dressed man and a new car and all he wanted was to have sex with me and of course it wasn't my bag and he wouldn't even give me a dollar after dropping me off after saying no to having sex with him near the intersection of Malibu Canyon and the Ventura freeway and this man now was the opposite and as we drove down the incredibly beautiful and windy Coast on a sunny crisp and clear day we stopped at a restaurant overlooking the ocean, somewhere near the Hearst Castle or just passed it and he took me out for breakfast, overlooking the ocean from inside the glass restaurant and I thought to myself, this is a Heavenly ride and as we journeyed on and he continuously talked about his love for the Lord and was so engrossed and sharing Jesus with me that as we were driving through San Luis Obispo where Highway 1 and Highway 101 merged for a while, a car in front of us put on its brakes and he hit the back of the car and while he was distracted talking to me about the Lord and it was just a fender bender and a few broken lights and things the man never missed a beat and talking about the Lord and it was so friendly talking to the person that he had hit and the police said exchanging IDs and insurance and like nothing happened and looking back I'm sure it was the devil in the car in the front that puts brakes on to distract him from telling me or sharing with me the Lord instead of telling me or talking to me, he was sharing with me and not talking at me to repent or perish or letting any other guilt trip on me other than sharing the love of Jesus and I felt more love coming from him that I could imagine coming from Buddha or Timothy Leary of which was a hero of mine at the time and I had just been further disillusioned by the lonely haired hippie type that just passed me by on the highway and remember thinking again where was the love for the summer of love was over now and the hard drugs had kicked in and spoiled everything and brought in by the Hells Angels who had invaded the Summer of Love and the hippie way of life of flower power in the hate Ashbury district for instance and as we further traveled down Highway 101 he drove me right to my home or my parents home in Tarzana California and I was too embarrassed to have him drop me off in front of my parents home for it was a former chicken Coop or Farm that was converted into a couple of track looking houses on a large lot of land and I asked him to drop me off at the house next door and I said thank you very much and wave to him and went up the next door neighbor's driveway to make it seem as though this is where I really lived a nice house and all and then after walking up the driveway and leaving him I climbed the fence that separated our homes and went to the back home of which a young woman had rented and I knew her before running away for this is the first time I had come back to home after running away in about a year and I smoked pot with her before going next door to my parents house and when I walked into the door there was the gentleman that it picked me up hitchhiking and sitting with my mother with Bibles open if I recall and radiant looks on their faces as they had been talking about the Lord with each other and my mother and I was totally astounded and flabbergasted as to how he knew I really lived and it was a miracle of the Holy ghosts leading as I look back and my mother had been praying for me since I had run away from home to at least come home for a visit and there I was in my mother took me to an Assembly of God pastor in San Fernando Valley and he also talked about the Lord and was well-dressed and fine and perfect looking as people tended to look in the suburbs of Los Angeles and he was telling me how good life was and how he was able to play golf and things and how blessed he was and but this time I felt nothing but hate and jealousy and why can't I be like that successful and well dressed and having a good life and I felt the opposite of the gentleman that had been a hitchhiking for this man was only sharing is good life in Christ with me and that was it and sharing nothing else like taking me to dinner are helping me out financially or anything like that and how I felt was hate rage and jealousy and even though this was a good and godly and decent man I felt that he had nothing to offer me like the man that had picked me a picture I can and drove me all the way home and after taking me out to a beautiful restaurant for breakfast on our way down to Coast and I left in a rage and still looking for my younger brother who that caused all the trouble in our little underground looking hideout on the creek in send Anselmo California and I finally tracked my brother down to the Avalon Hotel and he was not there so I climbed in through a back window into his room and all I could find was a solid gold looking watch that he apparently had stolen from my biker friend and acquaintance and that's about all and there was no cash or drugs and so I eventually got drunk and even crashed through a horse corral near my parents home and the last thing I remember where horses running down the street in the night I like a bizarre nightmare or dream my life had become and Meanwhile my mother had taken me to this prayer meeting at the Angeles Temple after first taking me to a dry church service of some nondescript Protestant assembly and it was very dry and boring and the second meeting my mother took me to was at the Angeles Temple meeting where I was prayed over and delivered from methamphetamine to this day save for once ingesting crystal meth after being prayed for and over in the speaking in tongues and laying on of the hands of which I had never heard of before and being raised to Catholic and all and after taking the meth for one last time I felt so sick and paranoid that I thought I might die from an overdose or being poisoned and curled up around a telephone in my apartment that I was sharing with another sometime later during a second hitchhiking visit to my parents house and all of this was kind of a psychedelic and a hallucinogenic blur in time and space and memory and synchronicity of events now that I am reaching the age of 74 here in the year 2023 and relating back to the best of my memory and with the aid of the Holy Ghost who is promised to bring back our memories to us as taught by the Apostle Paul in the New Testament and so as sketchy is my memory is at times for the Holy Ghost is filling in the gaps and helping to make sense of it all in my history and narrations and so returning back to Marin County after my second visit to my parents home after the first visit since I ran away with the help of returning by this Holy Ghost filled Christian businessman I got a job as a dishwasher at the elderly Danish retirement home in San Rafael and shared an apartment with a school made acquaintance with mine from Redwood High School in Corte Madera Marin County California and after an episode of Breaking dishes at my job I was terminated and about this time this friend of mine showed up and said that his girlfriend was living in a commune with three other girls and what I like to come with him and visit the girls and of course we both moved in and I had my girlfriend Linda Haggerty and he had his girlfriend Lorraine lazzarini and we partied day and night and we stopped going to sleep and again you can't party on forever and something has to give and like I have said before it was the end of the summer of love and the following year was a time of eventually winding down and seeking to grow up and to be a normal and functioning and contributing human being and so hitchhiking back to Los Angeles for the third time and this time with my future wife and girlfriend Becky kittenholson the youngest daughter of a Marion County Supervisor, we quickly got a couple of rides as we hitchhike together as a couple and it was easier to pick up a couple than a long stranger On the Road and we arrived at my parents house and my wife wasn't ashamed of my parents new home of which they had just bought and was kind of run down and but on a big lot and next to Baptist Church and across the street from a public school in Tarzana California and my parents had gotten a good deal on the property and eventually sold it and bought 80 Acres along the soul that River in the northernmost part of the county of Los Angeles and that's another story which I will go into in later chapters and as and when my parents took us to the Shrine Auditorium to the miracle service, there were so many thousands of people and so many people couldn't get in for the fire marshal had closed the doors because it would have exceeded the capacity of the 7 000 seat of the Auditorium and so we were locked out and could only hear what was going on inside through the loudspeakers outside for those who couldn't make it in the front of the auditorium and parking lot so to speak and I heard Katheryn Khulmem singing he touched me if I recall which was her favorite theme song and we could hear what was going on and as I was pondering our Fate and hitchhiking all the way down here to go into the service and while I was looking up at the Blue Sky on a clear and sunny day in Los Angeles and then all of a sudden I felt the Holy Ghost come into my heart and into my mind and at first I was shocked and afraid for I had never experienced anything Supernatural like this in my life and I thought I was losing my mind for a moment and for a second time and I imagined myself being taken away in an ambulance and thinking that I am having a massive flashback from all the drugs I had taken as a youth and then I realized after the initial shock I felt peace in my mind and joy in my heart and a clear channel to God and with no sense of sin or guilt or fear whatever and I Heard a voice coming from inside of me and a very clear and distinct spiritual voice saying in a beautiful and feminine tone that you are forgiven and set again you are forgiven and for the first time in my life I felt oneness or one with God and I turn to my girlfriend Becky and I told her that this is real that it's all real about Jesus and miracles and I felt it and I feel it that something has happened to me and that Jesus is coming to my heart and looking back theologically speaking by the Holy Ghost the act of agent of God in this world promoting Jesus Christ as the Lord and savior and the substitute death for our sins if we would just let go and let God do the saving like a drowning person being rescued by The Lifeguard and has to stop struggling and allow themselves to be rescued at least one takes the lifesaver with them by cleaning on to them in a panic of which happened to a couple I know years later on the Anchorage and Waterfront of Sausalito where I eventually lived on a boat on San Francisco Bay of witches another story further on in this book and testimonial and my poor dear girlfriend was looking in shock and consternation of this suddenness and transformation of me instantly by being miraculously saved and forgiven and turned into another creature and a man that my wife later said that I had turned into a another person that she never knew before by the power and transformation of the Holy Ghost, and the name of Jesus and I thought all I would have to do is tell people what happened to me and that it was real and everyone would believe me and I was shocked to find that people were not all believing me and my experience and that was my first experience sharing the gospel and it was with my girlfriend and common law wife (so to speak ) and I begin speaking to others and telling all my friends and everybody that I met and would listen about my Holy Ghost transformation in the name of Jesus and my Oneness with the father and my feeling of total forgiveness for all my sins of the past and I thought this joy in the Holy Ghost would last forever and that now I was a perfect and transformed human being and as we were driving home from the Shrine Auditorium I got in a fuss with my father of which is very easy to do for my father was a hard drinking and a hard-working former Red Army officer who had defected to the West through Finland where he met my mother and I was conceived and we all escaped in a 30-foot Lifeboat with 30 refugees and a storm with 30 foot waves and Landing on the shores of Sweden and that's another story again of which I will elaborate more on and in the meanwhile back to the ride to my parents home and getting in a fuss with my father about some little something for he could be very grumpy, when not drinking and even more grumpy when he did for he was not a happy drunk except when he was around his friends after work in a bar and for the first time since my new birth in Christ I also felt the imperfection of My Flesh and that I was perfect in my spirit and but my flesh still had to drag along from behind like a dead body following a now holy spirit and as we further drove along I started having doubts in my mind again as to whether this could have happened through Buddha or some other way and as we drove through Hollywood there was a huge white cross along the side of the road either as a religious Monument or on a church for I can't remember the details and this huge white cross that I was looking at just burned into my heart and mind and it was the Holy Ghost saying that there was no other way that Jesus was the way to have this new birth experience and it was settled in my mind from that time forward to this day that there was no other way to God except through His Son and by his Holy Spirit and I have never doubted it since and that was over some 50 years ago from1968 in October to 2023 as I write and dictate this book and testimonial and when Becky and I return home to our communion and send Anselmo in Marin County I begin sharing with the others of my new birth experience and it all fell on deaf years initially and I remember one of my friends Jeff Diaz coming to the commune to visit with a friend and saying let's go for a ride Peter for he had heard that I had become a Christian and was laughing and mocking and joking about my experience and thinking that it was some temporary thing like a jailhouse conversion and that I would get over it and as we were driving around he and his friend mockingly or smoking marijuana and offered me some and teasing me and tempting me in testing me and trying me in every little nook and cranny so to speak and I took his bag of marijuana and put a couple of papers together and roll the biggest fattest joint that I could possibly roll and I said okay you Jokers if you like this stuff so much go ahead and smoke this and they did out of Shame for mocking me and and pride after what they had just put me through on this drive and yet still my friends and mocking me in a none visceral way I only tested for if I had a real spiritual experience and conversion and I gave them the great big fat and real joint and I basically told them to smoke this you Jokers and laughed and they got so stoned and weary and tired by the time they dropped me off back at the commune and said goodbye to one another in still and a footnote to this chapter and a footnote to this chapter last I heard Sally and Rosie became biker girls and my close friends Robert and Lorraine I haven't heard from or seen since and hope they're doing well and Linda went on singing and performing in a choir at the Sleeping Lady Cafe in Fairfax and helped establish it or found it, from what I understand. to be continued and edited for support or donations to feed the poor in Sausalito the richest County in the proverbial world Cash App code $Cajidog (Name of my lste doggie Caji and official Church fund raiser) or PayPal 415 374 0734 and God Bless ! Next Chapter The calling into the ministry...New Covenant Evangelistic Association Inc. P.O Box 2504 San Anselmo, CA. 94979 of one would like to mail a contribution...
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