Book of Love by Who/Chapter Ten/ The Tragic and Loves and Life of Julious Caeser

   On another dark cold and still night in another one of my darkest and lonely nights recycling, forueging and salvaging for a living after my divorce and separation from my family and all that I loved and cast out back into a World that I have long forgotten on the streets and now in the waterways of Sausalito also living of my thirty foot sailing ship with a perpetual leaking in it that I couldat never leave my boat for any length of time and perfectly trapped in a situation of which there no escape due to porverty after signing over sixteen years of community property to my children's mother and house and home and children in the process in a incredible and diabolical web of intreque after marrying into the richest and most politically power family in virtually the riches and most desirable county to live in the world and I here reduced to surviving basically by foraging out of dumpsters for my basic needs and finding everything I needed except love of family home and children in the normal world that I once lived in and back on the streets of Sausalito with the poorest of the poor and the lowest of the low and remembering my first greeting back on the waterfront "Fuck You Asshole", by some Methhead !? And I was not accustomed to being talked too like that after being a family man and minister of God for the past sixteen years with three children and living in a beautiful house with three beautiful children and a beautiful wife and now reduced to eating and forging out of dumpsters and especially the Seven Eleven dumpster or which I never got sick eating out of and even the thrown away hot dogs that have been on the grill all day, until shift change and people say to pull ones self up by the bootstraps and one can't without boots and the divorce was timed after a three year period where I could not leave my home 🏘️ and some say it was agoraphobia and others that I was a man of God on a deep search within myself in the deepest and darkness caverns of my souls, mind and spirit and thinking that I may never come out of this "Dark Night of the Soul" ofsuffering and red which the book by the Spanish  Catholic Mystic "Saint John of the Cross", of which book was the greatest book on Spiritual suffering that I have ever read next to the book of Job, in the Bible and his total loss and restoration, the oldest book in the Bible some say and another great book on Spiritual suffering by John Bunyan author of the most published book every written in the original English language and his book called "Grace Abounding to the Chief of Sinners" , and if course verses from the book of Psalms like "Though I walk through the valley of death, I will fear not evil" and "They word in is a 🪔 lamp too my feet", at a time when it was so spiritually dark in my soul that words could not describe and a darkness that one can only feel wishing at night for the day break and during the day for the night again and unable to leave my beautiful home on a hill with a view and a perennial stream running though our yard with Redwoods and Ferns and a flower garden with fruit trees and a two room gust house anf two story building and even a bird house once used before and a little cement pond with deer and racoons and maybe even a mountain lion of bobcat in the neighborhood and a perfect wilderness and retreat in the midst of the central city of Marin County called "The Hud", and picture windows and ilver squirls and people in awe when visiting of living in our first floor or which we used as a homeless shelter with cable television and shower and telephone for the poor and homeless and outcasts during the Seventies and I lived in what looked like the Garden of Eden with even a large apple tree in the middle of our garden and plum trees and even tulips with forget me nots and a two car garage and all was well like it was with Job, before he lost it all and here I sit and lay prostrated on the living room floor and unable to move of walk away from by home for any reason at all and could only eventually make it to the garden and in this state for three years and my wife was very gracious and the children stepped over me on the way to school 🤣 and I lay and wait for them to come home a watch television with them and especially Seseme Street and I lay all day surrounded by books studying for it was the only thing that I could do for I was paralyzed otherwise and I could walk eventually in circles about our large living room with layers of carpet and padding as to be soft as a bed and as sat for hours either walking or praying or studying the Bible and Etymology when not staring at the coffee table for hours in a shear state of professional burn out from years of ministry from street ministry to planting a Church congregation in San Anselmo and opening our home to the homeless and our Church congregation starting a Church thrift store in San Rafael and meeting in the most beautiful Chapel in Marin County on top of Seminary Hill of which looked like a Castle and walking through a dreamscape, of wonder a glory and purpose and satisfaction and travelling internationally preaching the gospel and holding healing services from Finland and across Western Europe over land land sea a the way to Israel on one of my non stop missionary evangelist journeys that took six months from the time that I left home with  my music minister Kenneth Hopkins who eventually wrote the song "Whites Side Are You On" for the album "The Rose" with Bett Midler and all looked so chaotically beautiful in life and nothing to stop us except Heaven, in our youthful and energy driven days and I used to preach to be ready for our our dreams to be crushed someday in the preparation for the soon coming or our Lord and the persecution to come and I was prepared and ready for any outside assault and felt that no one could touch us outside and when it happened, it happened from in inside and from behind when no one was watching my back and like Julius Caesar who was on top of the world and the greatest general and most popular in history next to Alexander the Great who never lost a battle and was stabbed in the back by his friends and relations and especially poinent when Brutus his virtually adopted son brought the knife down ih him and is said to say "You to Brutus!?", for they were related some way for he had won the Civil War with his son in law who tose up against him after marrying his daughter and Pompey was filled with jealousy over Caesers victory in Gall now callsd France and chasing the Germans back across the the Rhian River, where he saw for the first time the bright blue bright blue eyed Germans with thiere red hair and bathing together naked and unashamed in the river,  both men and women and then turned his attention to beat back the Belgiums across thier border of whom he said we're the toughest fighting men that he ever fought and then crossed the English Channel and beat back the English and on returning was told to leave his army at the Rubicon River and come without his army to Rome to face charges that he overstepped his commission in Gall and enriched himself after first being welcomed as a hero for bringing back the leader of the revolt in Gall in chains and now after his second campaign he was being charged with treason for taking to much upon himself at a time when there were two Caesers and his son in law Pompey was his mortal and worse enemy and Brutus whom he loved and raised as a child or from childhood and son on one of his closest friends and the Senators who elected him were now concerned that Caeser had too much power and wealth and Co Ceaserships only lasted a year before reelection and he was gone for years in Gall, the biggest prize in Europe and of which gained him vast wealth and fame and Jealousy and now being driven by fear and not love and admiration they thought and believed that he had enough power to make himself an Emporer instead of just being satisfied as a Proconsel and fear and fear and jealousy and rage drove them to resist Julious as had made the fateful discusion to cross the Rubicon of which the Senate had stated that no Army shall cross and Pompey his Proconsul who led the opposing Roman army that gathered to defend Rome was defeated and fled to the Eastern part of the growing Roman Empire and continued the battle against Julious and was on his heels with Caeser on his trial and finnaly after a descisive battle in Greece Pompey his son in law fled too Egypt where he was betrayed by the locals and offered his head in a box to Ceaser of which horrified him as to wanting to make peace with his son in law and took his wrath on the perpetrators thinking that they were doing Julious a favor and slew  them and then joined in with Cleopatra in the Civil War that was going on with her younger  brother and together they defeated him and in the process of buying his own ships and the Egyptians fleet moored in Alexandria Harbor the fire spread to the Library of Alexandra and burnt major part of it and his own ships like Cortez did to signify no retreat!? Then Cleopatra and Ceaser had a love child even though Caeser was already married name Caeser also and returned to find him a hero in Rome for not only winning the Civil War but couquering Egypt also and but Cleopatra was not very happy with his new mistress for Romans were monogamous and she bore it without divorcing him out of love for he was now the most popular man in the world and the Romans loved him for making Rome  so great as to virtually rule the known world and now the most powerful Empire in history and hard to divorce a man like that and leave him to Cleopatra who was not welcome in Rome and soon left with Caesers only child who was eventually was lost to history and died mysteriously or was murdered for being the next hereditary Emporer after Julius was elected by the Senate for life as a single Council of which has never been done before except for when the Roman General Cincinnati was called out of retirement on his forty acre and a mule farm to be Dictator for life in order to beat back the Gaulactic in vasion in the North and after saving Rome retired again to go back to his farming and now we have a new Dictator for life again and the world would never know if Caerser would do the same due to his murder by a hangul of Jealous Senators and supporters of Pompey who they killed in front of his statue or bust in the Senate Chamber after his wife pleaded with him not to go that day for it was the Ids of March and a prophet had warned him of that day and his wife has a dream of his death and these were all Caesers closet friends and relations a greatest of all tragadies for he was much beloved of the people and gave them generously from his riches and was so popular that he even had a coin with his image stamped on it of which was the first time Prociucel, Council, Dictator or Emporer had ever done this before and at least while still living of which is also the custom today in the USA, And the war was not over for Rome for Caesers best and closet friend Mark Anthoney and Casers adopted son his nephew became the next Procoucul along with Mark Anthoney and wared against Brutus and his conspirators in Greece again and won and Mark Anthoney became Procoucul of the East and Agustus of the West and when a love letter was discovered by Agustus concerning Cleopatra and Mark Anthoney who was also married to his sister all hell broke loose in the Empire and a Civil War again broke out between East and West and Mark Anthoney was defeated in a navel battle off Greece and fled back to Egypt where Cleopatra already was or got there before him and as the stories go she died by letting and Asp bite her and Anthoney like most military officers do in defeat take their own lives with the sword and not the cowards way out by taking posion as Hitter did by taking a cyinide campusal and then shootng himself whole his mistress took the Cyinide...to be continued and please comment and correct history and Grammer for me if you like and be kind and email a correct chapter too me at peteromanowky@gmail.com and see you in Church on Sundays at noon til evening every Sunday in front of Sausalito City Hall Library for lunch and suppertime with candles and open mike ...love you all !!!